Lab courtesy haiku

In the bastardized American format...

Agar will gel up,
vile gray sink-lake develops.
Next time, use trashcan.

Technically, they're not
my Pipetmen either — that
does not make them yours.

Reducing agents,
like open sewers in lab —
put the cap back on.

Autoclaves melt agar;
now your waste is everywhere.
Remember, use trays!

It's called a Bunsen
burner for a reason — don't
leave unattended.

Foetid, abhorrent,
vile... your unbleached media,
or eldritch horror?

Seriously, man,
clean centrifuge after use;
it smells like a morgue.

Needles go in "Sharps
container", not underneath
the paper towels.

Floor grabs onto shoes;
try cleaning up spills as soon
as they happen, please.

Crystals belong in
screening trays, not pumps — wash with
water every time.

No, seriously,
I meant that about needles:
dispose properly.

Beware: grad students
will eat anything left out
in your lab's breakroom.

Water bottles and
computers — two great things that
ought not be combined.

This ain't no disco,
You ain't no DJ. This ain't
no foolin' around.

So I was a little bored today.